Climb THIS Ladder… Bold of You To Assume I Find That Ladder Interesting Enough!
We’ve all seen the hierarchical systems sold to us promising health and wellbeing optimisation.
Sleep > Nutrition > Exercise > Stress management
Each level building toward your "optimal self"
Simple, right?
Just climb!
Steadily upward!
One rung at a time!
Don't look down!
… oooh shiny
WHACK - Childcare BIFF - Slept 5 hours THWACK - Surprise pain WHAM - Deadline BOP - Overload from just existing POW - Executive function left the building
Just when you think you've made it to the nutrition rung? You look down and realise you forgot to do that thing you were supposed to remember at the bottom, oh, also there is something shiny and interesting down there, the next rung doesn’t look that much fun anyway…..
Bold of the wellness industry to assume everyone can progressively climb a ladder, let alone with their individual needs, commitments and responsibilities!
+ An Impossible Climb +
The health optimisation ladder looks achievable in theory:
Bottom Rung: Perfect sleep (8 hours, consistent schedule, optimal sleep hygiene)
Bop: An overactive mind at 2am, a poorly crying child, night sweats… or just Tuesday
Second Rung: Dialed-in nutrition (meal prep, macros tracked, supplements)
Biff: No time between meetings, eating cereal over the sink at 9pm, struggled to get to the shops, sensory overwhelm from food textures…your cat ate your chicken
Third Rung: Consistent exercise (not missing a session, hitting your zones)
Bash: Car at the garage, extra work deadline, chronic fatigue, childcare fell through, period arrived, body said "absolutely not today"…you forgot to pack your gym kit and you’re wearing Dr Marten boots
Fourth Rung: Stress management (meditation, journaling, boundaries, work-life balance)
Bang: HAHAHA have you MET capitalism? Student loans? Family duties? The news?
Top of Ladder: Your "Best Self" ✨
Wallop: Trick question, there's no top, just more rungs and more life to navigate….
Oh, that thing you forgot at the bottom? Yeah, you need to climb back down for it. Don’t worry, the spring loaded boxing gloves of life will still be there to bop you on the way down too.
THE REAL PROBLEM? This wellbeing approach assumes:
Linear progress (up, up, up! – you can’t work on nutrition until sleep is “fixed” SPOILER you can’t “fix” sleep)
Stable conditions with life co-operating (no boxing gloves – Family? Work? Chronic illness? Never heard of them!)
Consistent capacity (same energy, focus and responsibilities every day)
Nothing knocking you back down (Bop: nope there goes your sleep schedule)
You can focus on one rung at a time (just ignore everything else….easy…)
Stress can be “managed” through breathwork alone (Did I mention capitalism, the pace of life…did you even remember to breath at all today?)
Executive function is there for meal prep (Is any of your Tupperware clean? Oh, wait it’s still sat by the sink, in the kitchen, at work)
NOPE!
Life Doesn’t Work That Way
NOPE! Life Doesn’t Work That Way
KAPOW - Parent gets sick, you're now a caregiver
BIFF - Hormones shift, energy zapped, appetite gone, insomnia
CRASH – Emotional shutdown, all plans cancelled
SLAM - Mercury is in retrograde or whatever (honestly who knows anymore)
You're not failing at climbing the ladder. The ladder itself is the failure.
Some days you can handle nutrition planning, but movement feels impossible? Some weeks sleep is chaos, but movement is an anchor? The thought of "optimising" one more thing makes you want to lie down and give up entirely?
Welcome to actual human life
+ Wellbeing By Definition +
"A state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity."
Health defined by The World Health Organization
Notice what's NOT in that definition:
Climbing anything
Optimising in the correct order
Achieving rungs sequentially
Getting knocked back repeatedly while being told it's your fault for not trying harder
Perfect sleep scores
Optimised macros
A specific body composition
Hitting 10,000 steps daily
Never feeling stressed
Health and wellbeing is:
Physical: Your body functions and you can move it (sometimes, when the boxing gloves allow)
Mental: Your brain works (as well as it can with the brain you have)
Social: You have connections, purpose, community (even if it's just your cat and three internet friends)
These don't stack in a ladder. They're tangled together like headphone cords in your pocket.
Social connection might keep you functioning when physical health is getting absolutely battered.
Movement might be your mental health lifeline.
Rest might be the only thing that makes sense and that's FINE.
You don't need to climb rungs in a specific sequence
You need to work with whatever is available to you TODAY!
+ The Tangled Headphone Approach +
QUICK! Grab Whatever End Is Available!?
Movement. Nutrition. Sleep. Stress. Connection. Purpose. Rest. Joy.
All tangled. All connected. No "correct" order to untangle them.
Some days, you can grab the movement cord.
Great. Pull on that. Take a walk. Do some yoga. Wiggle around your living room. Pick up and put down some heavy things on repeat for a few hours. Your mental health will probably get a boost too (hello, interconnection).
Some days, the nutrition cord is accessible.
Excellent. Work with it. Find ONE breakfast that doesn't make you want to die, your energy might improve and that might help fuel some movement later. Executive function allowing? Batch cook something. Not allowing? Rotisserie chicken exists for a reason.
Some days, the only thread you can hold is rest.
Perfect. That's not "giving up" - that's recognising what your system needs right now.
Some days, every cord is knotted and you can't even find an end.
…..Ermm……none of my training told me what to suggest here……
Lovely. Find yourself some cordless headphones and hope the bluetooth works?
The goal isn't to untangle everything perfectly into a linear system.
The goal is to work with whatever's accessible to help dodge your way through life’s punches.
WELLBEING NEEDS ARE:
Non-linear
Personalised
Adaptive
Forgiving
Responsive
Non-linear Personalised Adaptive Forgiving Responsive
+ Ready to Stop Climbing +
Wellbeing With (hopefully) Less Bruises
The wellness industry wants you to keep climbing, buying a new ladder, a shinier ladder, a shorter ladder, a less steep ladder, climbing in perfect order, dodging life's punches, looking for a product that will help you upwards and needs you to feel guilty, like a failure, every time you get knocked down so they can offer you an alternative to help you back.
When I talk about wellbeing I want it to be synonymous with:
+ Feeling good in your body (when possible).
+ Eating in a way that nourishes your life (within your executive function capacity).
+ Moving in ways that feel sustainable (even if that's wildly inconsistent).
+ Health on YOUR terms (with your brain, your body, your boxing gloves).
+ Support that meets you wherever you are (thriving, surviving, or lying on the floor wondering what happened).
No ladders. No mandatory climbing. No pretending the spring loaded boxing gloves aren’t waiting….
______
Does any of this resonate with you?
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I'd love to support you in creating a movement, nutrition and wellbeing practice that fits your life, your brain, and your goals.